The core lesson in this interview with author Oliver Burkeman comes right at the start. He and the host are discussing how the desire to be perfectly productive is not only flawed but can actually cause distress.
“If there’s an infinite number of things you could do with your time that you’re ever going to be able to do, which I think is a structural truth about being human. It’s not because you haven’t found the right technique yet or put enough energy in yet that you’re never going to get to that kind of security.
What you’re dealing with is an effectively infinite supply of emails, of demands from other people, of projects you want to launch, places you want to travel. You never get to the end of it because that’s not how infinite supplies work.”
This is why when we try to implement new productivity systems, they always fall short of our dream scenario. Oliver says we have to let go of the illusion.
“If you think that trying to get on top of everything is really difficult, then that makes life really agonising and you’re always looking for a new system or philosophy or approach to solve the problem. But if you realise that it’s worse than that, it’s not really difficult, it’s actually impossible. That’s the point at which there’s a moment where you can exhale and let your shoulders drop.
Not because you’re saying, well, then why not do anything? Why bother doing anything? But precisely because it’s when you let go of that impossible quest to get your arms around an infinite amount. That’s when you can be free to do the most important things that you’re capable of, and the most interesting things that are available to you, and the most difference-making things in the world.”
One of Oliver’s tips is to write DONE lists instead of TO-DO lists so that you can see what you have achieved at the end of the day. He also recommends you list out everything that’s on your plate, that you might want to do and that said you’d potentially do. He says this gets all the to-dos out of your head, thus lowering your anxiety.
In their discussion about work-life balance, Oliver talks about seasonality, which is an idea that resonates with me.
“There may be times in your life when being imbalanced in the direction of work is the right approach and other times when being imbalanced in the direction of life outside work is the right approach and that is actually balanced over the long haul.
I think the question should be given your situation, given the world we live in, given the pressures that are on all of us, how far are you managing to spend a pretty big chunk of your day doing things that really absorb you and make you feel more alive? It doesn’t matter whether they are work or non-work, provided that that’s part of a financially sustainable situation.”
Oliver’s advises us to ring fence part of the day for deep work and allow the rest of the day to be fairly fluid.
“One of the things that I do is I try really hard to concentrate on the kind of core work that I do, which is writing and to some extent reading and thinking, and walking around thinking about things, into a three or four hour chunk of the working day.
But I also don’t try very hard to ring fence or defend the rest of the time. So there’s a sort of natural movement from the degree to which I can control my time and focus, and then the part of the day where I’m not even trying, and I’m just rolling with whatever, answering emails, getting calls, serendipitous stuff is happening.”
This is actually how I naturally design my day. At the moment, Aria naps for 2 hours a day and during that time, I can work with fairly good concentration. Each day I choose something different to focus on and the rest of the day is more unstructured, even though I can still be pretty productive.
Oliver reiterates the importance of letting go of the idea of completion.
“The spirit underneath this that I think is so important, is this idea of, I’m going to work on something, and then it’s going to be time to stop, and it’s going to be time to stop because it’s time to stop, not because I have got to the end of all the things that need needed doing in that slot.
It’s that sense that you are moving through finite time, making some sensible choices about what to do with the finite time, and then stopping just because a new part of finite time, otherwise known as the evening or whatever, has come around, and that gradually undermines that sense of doing things the other way, where you start off in the morning by thinking, what are all the things that need to get done by the end of today? Instantly, you’re going to come up with a list that has got no relationship to your actual amount of time or energy, and then you’re just going to feel bad about yourself when you only get one-fifth of the way through it by the end.”
It’s an interesting interview in which they go on to discuss purpose, mortality, Jungian psychology, the “insecure overachiever”, celebrating small wins, self compassion and journaling.
My favourite tip comes almost at the end.
“Part of what I’m taking aim at is that whole attitude that says, what are the habits that I first need to put in place before I can be more fully absorbed and enlivened by my own life. That can very easily lead right back into the same problem of, well, okay, for the next few months, I’m going to work on becoming this and meditating every day, and then finally, maybe, I’ll be allowed to just enjoy life. So what I always say instead is, the thing that you should do is identify something in your life that you know in your heart, you want to have more of in your life.
So it could be an aspect of your work that you want to focus on more, it could be a creative project or a hobby, a relationship you know you would like to be nurturing but you haven’t been doing. It could be a recreational activity. Just actually do 10 minutes of that today. Sweep away all this, what am I going to put in place so that I can do these things, and just do that thing however badly, however unconfidently, with however little certainty that you’re ever going to come back and do it again.
Not once today and then every day for the next rest of your life, but just once. I think there’s something in that willingness to just let yourself go on a run, let yourself look up an old friend, let yourself do some drawing, without it being part of some big new project of life transformation, but just doing it today or if you’re listening or watching late at night, then tomorrow is okay, but not in three weeks time.
If that means putting something else to one side, then that’s what it means. If it means you can only afford to do it for 10 minutes because of all the other things you’ve got to do, then fine. It’s constantly bringing down that standard that needs to be met in order to let yourself do something that makes you feel more alive.”
I really love this tactic as it would never occur to me! I’m one of those people who can only start the new diet or the new gym routine or the new lifestyle habit if all the pieces are in place and I know (or believe) it is sustainable. Just think what that procrastination technique is stopping me from getting done!?
Do it with me! Identify something in your life that you know in your heart, you want to have more of and just do that for 10 minutes.
I’ve been wanting to read The Montessori Baby (a gift from Aria’s godfather when she was born) and I never have time! Reading doesn’t have a regular slot in my schedule. Really I should start cooking dinner but instead I am going to choose an interesting chapter and read for 10 minutes!
Here is a link to the full episode if you would like to hear more nuggets of wisdom:
https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/live-well-be-well-with-sarah-ann-macklin-health/id1508380100?i=1000676756451
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